The day after one realizes the emptiness of something no longer before us, of someone no longer amongst us, or some emotion-attached-memory that knocks the wind out of our steps.  This happened.  With this object.  Seemingly safe.  Culturally common.  Plastic to place in the recycle bin.  After scrapping out the last smears from the container last nite.  So why the impact?

With the onset of the exponential invasion of stimuli sources via the internet, too often we can blink and the “next” has come and gone before we can grasp “it”.  Sometimes it may seem like Ironman swooping down and saving us from dealing with it.  Sometimes it is our wound-wall that erupts to keep us away from feeling.  Sometimes our mind is so jumbled by all the images and words of the day, it simply falls off into oblivion… added to the pile… thrown in the lottery ball bubble-spinner to pop up, possibly, in the future when our heart knowingly chooses to grasp it.

After completing now almost twelve years of learning to live life due to a TBi (traumatic brain injury), exacerbated by spinal stenosis and SCD (superior canal dehiscence) Syndrome, i actually give thanks when my heart lingers long enough to respond.  For life with a TBi, pain, and fatigue is more than just a battle.  It is a new life.  For life missing a loved one.  It is a new way to live.  For life unable to do most of which i had done without thinking for the previous 47 years.  It is a new life where there are many, many things i can no longer do.  No matter how much i replay the habitual positive thinking, the ultimate optimist, the think-i-can-i-think-i-can record with which i was raised to play, it does not change what once was.  Some things are empty.  Everything around may look the same.  But what no one, including me, can see is:

There are things that come in life that once filled life, but whether due to choice or circumstance, consequence or crap shoot, they are now empty.

I had been savoring tidbits, a slim schmear, of this chunky peanut butter for over a year.  It reminded me of much.  So much.  More than i could have ever imagined.  Somehow engulfing a hope it would fill an emptiness, even for just a moment.  All the while, without me realizing it, filling the emptiness with the habits built over decades.  Which filled my emptiness with savoring the blessings i did nothing to earn nor deserve.  Unconsciously practicing:

Focus and remember things that bring heart-felt JOY and strength, peace and comfort.

And, as I was raised and as i did my best to raise our children, this practice reminds me of what it must have been like to see the tomb of Christ Jesus… empty.  Deep bewilderment, unconscionable thoughts, lungs seemingly collapsed or roaring with emotions, eyes stunned, tears non-existent or flowing like Niagara Falls, questions unanswered… missing a loved one… an empty tomb.

An empty tomb which no one seemed to remember nor connect with what Jesus had told those who listened and heard was to occur.  An empty tomb that surely brought forth every emotion imaginable rushing forward in moments to come.  All uniquely created, all different, yet still it was an empty tomb.

Are we not called to be reminded of the empty?  As an encouragement.  As a source of strength.  As a foundation for hope.  As a treasure to shared.  As a gift to be cherished.  We all have the choice of how we practice responding, staying in reality, to those things or person(s) that somehow left us… evacuating us into empty.

There is so much expression of dealing with empty nowadays.  Some are able to practice what they were taught or shown, to hold firm with the wonderfully foundational and repeated-by-many for centuries, life-giving focus to bring hope and JOY to be treasured; on the other hand, more and more seem to either not have been present for the lesson, had no one present to show them, or thought they knew better and now justify to themselves and the world the horrific suggestion that giving up and taking whomever is in the same place is the way to go.  A choice.  A focus.  A way.  Which way do you want your loved ones to embrace?

Empty opens the door to being filled with something new and good and right.

I really miss who once was.  Yet, faith in Jesus tells us that He came to save us, renew us, restore us.  That though the tomb may be empty, He has made a way that is full of hope and JOY to be eternally cherished.  That giving up… quitting… settling with the populace… surrounding self with hopelessness, anger, un-forgiveness, unworthiness, and/or self-pity, is NOT living into the new creation we are called to be in Christ.  I know that who once was, is and will be.  For we are called to live by faith, not by sight… not by understanding.. not by works.  To live into the new man (or woman) which Christ Jesus suffered rejection, torture, then death on a cross for… then, conquering death to demonstrate that there is life after whatever we have faced as we believe in Him.

Empty is not comfortable.  Yet, empty is a reality.  Living through pain or loss, wounds or distrust, disappointment or chaos, are realities in life.  Anyone who is living in reality knows that.  It is our choice to escape, avoid, isolate, divide, or numb; or, to get uncomfortable and go thru the healing and stay focused with the hope and JOY that awaits all who persevere thru to new life.  Even through the empty:                                 GU… get uncomfortable.