One of the strange things i have had to encounter in recent years with my TBi (traumatic brain injury) is the fact that my brain prioritizes better than i do.  What do i mean?  One of the challenging things i have to self-monitor is if am i breathing, or more accurately, am i holding my breath while doing whatever task versus breathing?

How am i gonna turn this short ramble into an encouragement?  To start, i am very, very, very thankful that my brain prioritizes breathing over whatever task i am attempting to do.  For you non-TBi guys, you are surely wondering what is wrong with this guy?!  Well, depending on the location and frequency and severity of one’s TBi, there are many physical, cognitive, emotional, and/or autonomic nervous system functions that no longer respond or perform as designed, like it used to, consistently, or as one-has-been-spoiled-to-expect before a TBi.  Breathing is kinda important, yeah?  I am very, very, very thankful that my brain prioritizes better than i do.

This means that most of the time, (for some of us that have autonomic nervous system quirks, storms, or misfires due to the brain damage since suffering our TBi, most of time means exactly that, most of the time), our brain will prioritize life before anything we might think is important.  I believe that is quite a sizeable encouragement.  Meaning we should be thankful, in awe and wonder, of how our “hardware” is wired, how God created us.  That even though we might not have been taught well (or we excelled at rebellion and disobedience);  or, fears and worries tend to drive our thoughts and actions this way or that (going with our feelings versus a wise decision or asking for guidance ); or, toxins from poor eating or too much alcohol or dependence on drugs impede wise brain functioning (which when one sees a brain scan, one will see the brain gone, absent, dissolved, with big spaces in between – yes, all non-medical terms, just my visual description),  our brain will prioritize what is most important.  i have experienced and learned that a heart beating, breathing, blood pressure, swallowing, digestion, and a host of other bodily functions we tend to take for granted (until they do not operate as designed or as we are accustomed to), is what our brain will prioritize.  For many of us, i would think we should find it to be a great comfort that we do not have to make a choice between what our body needs to do and the bombardment of possible actions we can choose to respond to the world with.

This brings me back to thankful.  For i could choose to prioritize the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the disappointment, the identity “crisis” because i cannot do _____ (fill-in-the-blank) anymore because of my TBi.  But those choices only lead to statistics i have committed and promised to my Bride that i will not willingly allow to occur:  negativity, depression, rage, conflict, pride, complaining, or suicide.

Thankful.  Breathing.  i might not be able to do or complete a task like i used to, or when i want to, or as expediently as i would like, but i need to be aware of if i am breathing or not first.  The basics.  The priority.  Life.  It requires oxygen, hence, breathing.  And, this lesson thru TBi has taught me (keeps teaching me) that things like pride, identity, fear, toxins, hopelessness, frustration can distract me from what is truly important for life.  What are you prioritizing?  Who is winning, your emotions and feelings (whether pride, proving oneself, earning, winning, belittling, abusing, justifications, self pity, anger) or the heart and brain God gave you to live life well?  Just some thoughts for you to chew on as you breathe…